8th Grade: Guide for a Successful Purity Weekend
Invite your teenager to go with you on a weekend full of fun.
If at all possible, let them decide what that fun will be, within the constraints of your family’s budget.
Have fun! Plan activities that your teenager loves and do it with them.
Often this trip is planned for one parent and one teenager. Many families make this a father/son or mother/daughter event. However, this may not be possible (or best) for your family.
Before the weekend begins, be sure to let your teenager know your plan. Try not to surprise them. Teenagers don’t like surprises, especially when it comes to talking about sexual purity. Let them know specifically at what point on this trip you will be discussing sexual purity. That way they can be prepared for it.
Share your dreams for them in the area of sexual purity.
When talking about purity or any sexually-related topic, it’s important that parents initiate the conversation but stay away from lectures.
Consider sharing with your teenager your experience in learning about the subject of sex. You can tell them whether it was positive or negative and how it affected you as an adult. Share with your teenager that you want to set them up to be healthy in the area of sex.
Share with them why you believe that God’s plan for sex is best for them. Here are some Scriptures you might want to share with them:
Genesis 1:26, 31: God sees sex as a good thing.
Genesis 2:18-25: God created sex.
1 Thessalonians 4:3: God has a standard for sex.
Matthew 19:4-6: God created man and woman to become one flesh.
1 Corinthians 6:12-20: Sex outside of marriage is not a good thing.
Many people in our culture ridicule the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex. Discuss with your teenager the common viewpoints against God’s plan for sex. Here are some statements you might use in this part of the discussion:
I have never met someone who waited until marriage to have sex and regretted it. I have never met someone who followed God’s plan and then after their honeymoon said, “I wish I would have had more sex before marriage!”
The people who disagree with God’s plan for sex see it more as a physical act. God created it to connect body and soul. Sex for a married couple is like spiritual super glue. It is not meant to be exchanged casually.
When you engage in sexual activity prior to marriage, you are creating a “marital” type bond with a boyfriend or girlfriend. That type of bonding should only follow a marital commitment.
God’s plan for sex is the only safe sex. There is no way to 100% avoid pregnancy outside of marriage or to elude sexually transmitted diseases with pills or condoms. The only way to avoid these things completely is to save sex for its proper place–a committed marriage.
Sex is used by many to sell movies, music, and products. Sex is undervalued by many and is used to satisfy a physical urge at the cost of emotional pain. My dream for you is that you value yourself, value your relationship with God, value your relationship with me, value your future spouse, value your own body, value your own soul, and value sex as something to be treasured, not used casually.
It is your job to honor the purity and integrity of your boyfriend/girlfriend, not take advantage of it. One day you might attend the wedding of someone you dated and broke up with. I want you to be able to shake the hand of their future spouse, with no regrets, knowing that you protected their purity.
Commit to each other to value purity.
Let your teenager know that you value purity as well. Give them permission to hold you accountable for treasuring purity in what you watch, what you think, and how you live.
Give your teenager a symbol to remember your conversation and commitment to one another.
Many parents give a ring to their teenager to represent their commitment to purity. That ring can then be exchanged with the wedding ring at their future wedding ceremony.
You might think of another symbol that would better fit your teenager to help them remember this very important commitment you are making to each other.
- Take some time to thank God for the opportunity to share with each other honestly.
- Here are some things you can pray over your teenager:
- Pray that God would guard their mind and fill it with truth in the area of sex.
- Pray that God would guard their body and give them a desire to honor their body.
- Pray that God would guard their heart and protect them from unnecessary emotional pain in the area of sex.
- Pray that God would continue to grow your relationship with them and give each of you the courage to continue talking about purity.
- Thank God for the strength and opportunity to have this important moment together.
Now get back to having fun!
There is no way to avoid awkwardness in this conversation. One way to combat awkwardness is to quickly follow up your face-to-face conversation with some shoulder-to-shoulder fun!
Remember that no one has a louder voice than you in the life of your teenager. Your words weigh the most to them. You are their greatest spiritual influence. Congratulations on using that influence to set them up for success and health in the area of sex!