8th Grade: Question and Answer Guide
A primary purpose for the Purity Weekend is to encourage and allow your teenager to ask you the questions they have about sex. For most parents, this is a scary thought, but ask yourself this question: “If they don’t get this information from me, who will they get it from?”
Although you can’t get out of your responsibil- ity to give your teenager a biblical education on this subject, you can relax, because we have created a tool to help answer some of the ques- tions you might get!
Q&A to Help with Parent/ Teenager Discussion of Sex
What is sex?
First, and most importantly, sex is a way of worshipping God. The Bible describes us as being created in body, soul, and spirit (1 Thes- salonians 5:23). The sexual experience within a marriage is one of the only gifts God has given us that touches all three of these areas (body, soul, and spirit) simultaneously. And any activ- ity that involves all three of these areas can be classified as sexual. Although each activity may not be directly classified as sex, the sexual experience begins with physical touch (holding hands, hugging, kissing, etc.) and progresses to more intimate acts.
What does God say about sex?
God is the creator of sex and wants it to be en- joyed, but within the boundaries that He created.
A good metaphor for this is a saltwater aquar- ium. The focus is on the beauty of the coral, the fish, and lighting. People don’t look at an aquar- ium like this and say, “Man, all this glass, metal, and wood is just getting in the way.”The bound- aries are not the focus; the beauty is. At the same time, if the boundaries weren’t there, then death, brokenness, and chaos would ensue.
God gives us boundaries to keep the beauty in, not to keep the fun stuff out.
The Bible says, “Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the Lord, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray.” Proverbs 5:17-23
Does God give us boundaries and rules for sex?
Absolutely. Is it His desire for us to put our primary focus on the rules? No. Sex is beauti- ful. Sex is to be pure. Sex is for a husband and a wife to enjoy.
What is a sexually transmitted disease (STD)?
An STD is a disease that is passed through sex- ual contact from an infected person to a non- infected person. Any sexual act that involves
a bodily fluid is a potential way to transmit an STD. This can range from kissing, for some dis- eases, all the way to intercourse.
Types of STDs include chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, hepatitis, and HIV/AIDS. Some effects of these diseases in- clude pain, bleeding, infectious discharges, rashes, burning sensations, blisters, sores, and, in some cases, cancer and death. Currently in America, every hour, 350 teens contract a sexu- ally transmitted disease. This is one reason God provides boundaries for sex. He does not want to see His children suffer in ways that are, in most cases, completely preventable.
What is intercourse?
In many ways, God created a man’s and a wom- an’s bodies to fit together like puzzle pieces. Intercourse is part of the sexual experience in which the penis of the male is inserted into the vaginal canal of the female.
What is an orgasm?
An orgasm is another experience that God created for a husband and wife to share. At a certain point in the sexual experience, the body releases chemicals called endorphins into the body. These chemicals cause a person to feel a sense of euphoria, joy, and intense excitement.
Oral sex is when one person stimulates the other person’s genitals with their mouth. God does consider this to be sex, because, again,
it is a process that affects a person physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
What is pornography?
Pornography is any form of visual, audio, or vid- eo image that portrays nudity or a sexual expe- rience. Pornography, at its core, causes women to be viewed as objects of lust rather than the beautiful creations God intended them to be. It trains people to look upon women disrespect- fully, and it also causes people to “lust in their hearts,” as Jesus taught against in the Sermon on the Mount. Many people involved in the pornography industry (women, in particular) have gone through abuse, drug addiction, forced abortions, and the like.
As creations of Christ, it is our duty to love those that are hurting by not supporting the pornography industry. Last year alone, nearly $15 billion was spent on internet pornography. Current research estimates that 1 in 4 American men are addicted to internet pornography. Sad- ly, the average within the Church is not much better: 1 in 6. Marriages are destroyed because of this. Because pornography is so readily avail- able, monitoring software (such as Covenant Eyes or x3church) can provide an extra level of accountability for teens and their families.
What is sexting, and is it okay?
Sexting involves sending nude pictures or videos of yourself to other people via text mes- saging or instant messaging. Although they can seem harmless, these images are often used to manipulate the ones who send them into doing things they do not want to do. Also, by sending these images, you are inviting lust into the lives of the ones to whom the images were sent. This is definitely not God’s will for anyone.
These obviously won’t be the answers to all the questions you might get, so we wanted to arm you with the “silver bullet” answer that will get you out of just about any question that you can’t answer. Are you ready for it? Here we go…
“I don’t know.”
It’s that simple. Just admit to your teenager that you don’t know the best way to answer their question, but you will go find an answer and get back to them on it. Then you can go find a knowledgeable person, ask them for help, and make sure to follow up on your promise to return the answer to your teenager.
You are a wonderful parent for facing a poten- tially awkward conversation with courage, in order to do your part to help your teenager have a healthy understanding of sex.